im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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