Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
