I faked an abortion last night.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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