i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
