I want to stick my p in your. b.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
