I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
