What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
