Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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