I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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