There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
