he thought i was a dude.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
whose ass print is on the piano?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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