i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
