For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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