What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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