If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My dick has a subreddit
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize