Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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