just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
