The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize