But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
