Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
