Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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