He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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