I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
