You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
