i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize