it was like eating out sand paper
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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