Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
