I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
