remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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