she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
