I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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