new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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