I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize