How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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