Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
