Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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