I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
