I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize