Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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