So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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