i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
