I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize