I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
