The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize