I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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