Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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