Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize