I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
