You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
NoShamevember. You game?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize