He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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