If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
