you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
