I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
My ATM looks so different sober.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
