someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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