I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
