the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Oh god it's open bar.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
