trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
