What a fucking waste of an outfit
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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