Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize