Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
