I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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