Buhtt sex?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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