Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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