So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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