Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
