It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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