i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize